Half-Baked

The book sits half-done.

It's been half-done since before Christmas/Holidays/Donutmas/This-Is-Crazy Hit...no offense to anyone here, but it is. Crazy, I mean. Sure I was full of holiday cheer, but by the time it all winds down, the decorations put away (which I am still finding), the leftovers fed out to the chickens, and the gifts sorted out of festive room-dining room, January is HALF-OVER!!!!

Makes a girl think about whipping someone's ass good and red. I jest. Well, yes and no.

I know I am not alone in this. I know that there are legions of you who are of the January-Half-Over club, who are just now settling back into normalcy and getting back to work. Its never really affected me quite like it did this year though, after NaNoWriMo, I had such focus, I was driving it hardcore and am currently sitting at 96,087. 

Of course, now, over the holidays, to fuel the masochist in me - I decide to take a side project. Grrr. 

My mind. My brain. If I am not feeding it (working), then it goes into overdrive and I will end up with SIXTEEN (one for each day of January) "side" projects.

I thrive on chaos. The more the merrier. Great.

But mess with my ~schedule~ and of course, I will say it like a snooty woman, sche-DULE, and I get a little tiffy.

I have been tiffy for WEEKS. 

Until today. Today, I got some shit done.

Today, chaos reigns supreme.

About fucking time.

It has been said in many a blog that people want to know how others write. I am here to give you the down and dirty real of it all. I am not going to give any tips or tricks to anyone. I am fucking psychotic when I am working - screaming, crying, laughing - I am like the friggin Joker on steroids. What I am going to give you is the truth of how I am getting from zero words to (ahem, clears throat) "should come in at" somewhere over 180k. Between diapers and dog pads, car wrecks and birthday cakes. No REAL list of advice here just my take on how I got from there to here. Hopefully, you laugh. Or at least cackle. Maybe a smirk. A finger tap?

Anywho, I am out for the night. Ya, all us vampires say that. 

We never mean it. I'll be up working at 3:34 am.

Love & Light.

k

Music: Beyonce

Okay, okay...I am a few weeks behind. Last night John purchased me Beyonce's Visuals album while in the Chinese take-out drive-thru line, is that right? I mean really, take-out and drive-thru, but yes, that's what it is. Which was awesome by the way! Much like Beyonce's new endeavor.

Let me first say, I haven't watched the videos yet.

But I intend to.

With so much shit in the media about young girls starving themselves to be a size 0, to be this or that sexually, it seems to me that Mrs. Carter has completely nailed what empowering women truly means. While the light on women's sexuality has long flickered, with the help of many sirens from Madonna to Britney, Mrs. C brings it to a whole nother level of amazing.

Owning it doesn't even seem to do it justice. But she does, time and time again. From the opening song until the very last note she pounds it - without being contrived - of what her being Beyonce, her own woman, means. She is going to say it truthfully, loud, proud, and honestly.

I must digress that last night's Chinese food was followed by a movie, "Thanks for Sharing." While it wasn't awesome, not like last week's "Don Jon" which was just so good, so thought-provoking I am still feeling it's reverberations. Both films at their heart concern sex addictions, and each one went at the subject from a different angle. I know there is such a thing. I got that. But where is that line?

We continually are questioning what is normal? And when is my normal not normal?

I think it all comes back down to knowing oneself. If what your doing isn't making you feel your best, your most complete, then perhaps other issues are at work. But just because you cannot eat apples doesn't mean your neighbor cannot eat the entire tree. And I think when we are looking to these films, music, and books that must be remembered. Everyone is unique, every circumstance different.

So this morning, my girl Beyonce and me, we are making the bed pondering my new endeavor I am about to go frame out on Scrivener, and I am thinking to myself - somewhere between "oh my fuck, maybe I am a sex addict" and "damn I really am happy." And it was this album, this little morsel of sweet goodness which forced me to take a step back and think what's right for me. I am resoundingly happy, content, blessed and full of light - ya, I happen to travel the shades of gray and kink, but so the fuck what?

Everyone is addicted to something I think.

It's all a matter if you can live with it or not.

I'll keep the collars, thanks.

And thanks Mrs. Carter for keeping the truth continuing on...

Light &Love,

k