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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

My Nemesis

The treadmill. 

Ok so I have been doing this whole eating better exercising thing for almost a year now. And I am going to use this time to whine - bitch - about how irritating my bladder has become with this. I typically work out for 69 minutes, cause I'm kinky like that and I enjoy the pain - endorphin's.
But I absolutely loathe it when I have to go piss mid-workout, which is typically EVERY DAY!

And if you are a talented graphic designer who hasn't ever done any pro-work, send me an email at kaileereesesamuels@gmail.com. I am shopping for book covers and I am open to undiscovered talent!

Love & Light from the T-mill,

Tuesday, November 19, 2013


I am having one of those days where there is too much to do and too little time. To and too, ya I mess those up A LOT when my mind and heart are flying faster than my hands can peck. But you know, editing, ya. I have been talking a lot about bones lately to John. Maybe because we have a labrador and there is a giant (assumed) cow bone lying on the floor. But the bones of it are what keep it moving. Just write the bones I have been chanting for weeks now. So I have and I'll go back through clean it up, edit the hell out of it and boom its out there. But these bones I have been speaking of - they are also pertinent to daily existence. Sure, I want to go outside and plant the roses that have been sitting in their pots since June, but the truth is I need to workout, I need to get the bones for Chapter 6. 

Writing has moved from a want to a need. It has re-prioritized itself in my mind and heart. And that is why the laundry is late, the floors are not as clean, and sometimes there are dishes left in the sink, and that is also why I am going to meet the NanoWrMo challenge of 50,000...I should be even coming in early by Sunday.
So needs and wants. 
May you always find yours in the appropriate column.
Love & Light.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Concert: Pink

Pink has been one of those artists that we have followed her career since the beginning - we have watched her grow and change as we have and she has nailed a lot of emotions for us. We were tickled to have tickets to her show. And that's just it, the "show" itself was incredibly awesome. The audience however, at least where we were (and we had good seats) just wasn't giving off the kind of energy I expect at a concert. There was a lot of crossed arms, boredom, etc. and that lent itself to a negative burp of energy. These were NOT the Paramore fans from several weeks ago, clearly. 

As for the opening act, The Kin, they were exceptional and I would be surprised if this tour doesn't make them huge. 

"I'm not a slut, I just love, love." - Pink

Love &Light.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


It has been said by fancy scientist that it takes us - more specifically - our noggins - 21 days to form a habit or break one. But it exercising, smoking or yes even this 5-minutes-I still-am-in-bed-but-I-forgot-the-last-two-days and now I feel I feel pings of guilt. Writing is like any other work, you have good days and bad days. The point is to keep doing it and with writer's psyche where the constant fear of failure and self-doubt loom like ominous little clouds above your head continuously - it can prove difficult. But I keep going, moving forward into the uncharted territory of what it's going to take to get this completed. And I am doing all because honestly, it's time to do it for me. I am becoming slightly OCD about writing and the crafting of my tale. But I am remembering those 21-days and I know as addicted as I think I am now, this whole thing may even be worse than smoking.

*curtsies to John, runs off back to my little cave*

Monday, November 11, 2013

Everything Changes

I try to remember that where we are today, I will not be tomorrow or the next day. Constant change we are under. It's a hard acceptance to trust the fates that be to float you from one day to the next and knowing that their is someone you love - who is also changing - to trust their fates and bring you back together the next - it's a challenge and sometimes, we have turf wars. But the challenge is not in the making it to the next day, the challenge is to trust, let go, and free fall.

May the fates bless you today!

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Creative Deaths

I know, I know its just bad organization, right? Wrong! It's not. We spend our lives getting ideas and some of them come to fruition and some just wither away and die. The simple fact is we cannot foster every single creative thought we may have.

The difficult part is accepting this death. The really difficult part is embracing it's departure from your list of things you thought you would get done and there just simply isn't enough time for it now, maybe never.

So we embrace things - and hopefully with gusto and crazy passion because by God you aren't getting to ride every creative ride so you you best damn pick your favorite and ride it, everyday as much as you can.

Find peace in letting go.
The things you love will be happier for it.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Quilt

I started quilting well technically I started sewing back in June 2012. I watch HSN a lot in the middle of the night I find it therapeutic - not that I necessarily buy anything, sometimes I do and I have never regretted it once but I am not one of those addicted people - so anywho they have this Singer Anniversary black edition and for some reason I fell head-over-heals in love with it. I never really sewed. My maternal Grandmother was an excellent seamstress, my Mother quilts (some, we are not talking six quilts a year) and I well, I took home ec and even amongst the class of half boys/half girls - I got the lowest grade in the class on my apron. 

So my machine gets here and I am going to make a fucking apron cause well, ya. And I very much wanted it to be layer upon layer of fabric. It's really a darling apron (tutu) though it doesn't stand up that much
The point is : get out of the comfort zone!
I used to write a lot of poetry. And short stories (romance, aka smut). And now I have pulled the fantasy with a touch of sci-fi beast out of me. Go someplace you have never been. Go out on that "proverbial" limb! You may find you like it more! And me, oh I am a very addicted quilter.

Friday, November 8, 2013

Giving Thanks

Perhaps it's because it's 2013, but to truly give thanks seems so rarely to happen these days. It's like THX - it's just such a flyby. Or even the TY - and even I, sometimes do it. I was watching the CMAs and the stars, the new, the hip, the glam...and honestly I am rather concerned. Taylor Swift seemed thankful enough for the pinnacle award, but some tears would have been nice, if there were we certainly didn't see them. (King) George Strait meanwhile got Entertainer of the Year and damn that cowboy can tear up! Meanwhile the good (gospel) of Miranda Lambert (she won, and exclaimed quite jovially, "Well hell!) looked like she was even crying during hubby Blake Shelton's song. Tears aren't required for true thankfulness but they certainly don't hurt. And I am certain all these folks are thankful. I was personally very thankful when Carrie Underwood took off the two pink flamingo dress - good heavens it was bad. But let's just talk about that look of Kacey Musgraves during the female vocal of the year - she was either pissed, or had gas. I'll go for pissed. Well, we had fun and I am ty, thx, and very thankful for the time with J.

Love. And Light.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Unexpected Turns

I think of the most surprising things about what I have learned in the last year is those "unexpected turns" - and they arise their heads (sometimes, all be it nasty) when we least expect it or can welcome it, or in worst case, fight it off. And they toss themselves into life regularly - doubling the fat content in a cake mix, eating healthy when the this-that- and- the other thing sits appetizing in front of you, or even, in working out and glitching up one's knee. But even the characters of great books also have those unexpected turns - the things you don't plot, outline, or map. Sometimes shit just happens in real time and in that precious fiction world.

I have learned though in the last year the best way for me to get through the unexpected turn is to veer into it, accept the challenge and march right back onto to doing what I was doing before the ugly beast arose - hopefully you get through all of your unexpected turns unscathed.

Love. And Light.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Challenges Ahead

The challenges that lie before me are not only mine. They are weaving themselves like a little spider tightly spinning her webs around J's fingers. He says to me that it's all right. I just feel like he has his own burdens of responsibility and why the fuck should I be - Hulo! Winning the damn lottery?? - I feel it doubles his duties while lightening mine. I know that that I am not alone in my challenges ahead. In the old farmhouse, there has lived a mouse in our wall by our heads in our bed for eight years. Every fall one shows up, staying til spring and you want to talk about challenged. But no more so than when we're trying to fuck and the damn thing is scurrying about. Regardless of who you are, where you are, or how you live your life we are all in some way - challenged.
~ krs.