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Saturday, December 10, 2016

The Shame of Being


I awoke this morning to the latest trending of Keke Palmer talking about Kylie Jenner on Instagram. Now, I am not discussing this. They are like eons into the stratosphere of social media, and I am not touching that. What I am touching upon is the shame of being that not only pertains to "famous" young women and men, but everyone.

Bullying did not just start with the advent of social media folks.

Bullying has existed since time began. One person believing in their self-righteous jargon enough to belittle and dehumanize another, thereby building themselves up to some erroneous new height. I am bothered by bullying, but even more so bothered by the fascination therein. Like every time a bullying case erupts – we, by talking about it, reward - not the victim, but the perpetrator. We stroke the ego of the bully.

I have been the victim of bullying as I am sure most people have. My own grandfather announcing to me at the Thanksgiving table that - "K, could be so pretty if she would just lose twenty pounds." His standard by which I was expected to achieve. The simple fact is everyone gets bullied at some point, but it isn't new and it isn't something that "just" occurs to famous people.

The LGBTQ has been subjected to bullying to the point that they have the highest rates of suicide. This is a problem. I've said it once and I'll say it again to parents who bully their LGBTQ youth– 

You can accept it, or you can bury them.

All too often we say... "It's not my problem." But in truth, it is ALL of our problem. We have to change the fundamental way in which we raise our daughters and sons so they don't have self-image issues and/or don't become a bully. That's a tough job, I know. Parents have to be present and aware. And they can't just overlook the behavior, hoping that it will change.

There is a shame in just existing, but there shouldn't be. It shouldn't take twenty years of therapy or a coffin to get over just being allowed to be yourself. We are fundamentally all in this together regardless of race, religion, gender identity, and sexual preference. Our differences amount to us being whole. 

I don't want a cookie cutter clone.
No one should.

Embrace your puckered thighs or flamboyant style – just be who you are.  
There is a saying in writing that you have to write your own book because no one else can; the same could be said for each and every one of our beings. Be you simply because no one else can.

And that is a beautiful thing.

Love & Light,
Ms. Samuels

I've been told that discussing such things is career suicide – newsflash, it won't change my story. But not saying something will. Because it fundamentally goes against who I am.